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I did hitch hiking and couch surfing on the road,I really enjoy the sincere and trust between people.It become difficult to perceive in the city and regular life,sometimes I really feel it is sick because it always seems so difficult to get close to each other.I would like to talk with strangers and collect stories.Even I know each time when we say 'see you',probably it means ' see you never'.

Just few weeks ago,during the midnight,we passed a petrol station outside of city,I stopped for icecream,then I saw a hitch hiker sitting there,I just went and talked with her.She asked 'So,Vanessa,where do you live?" I thought for a while 'E...I am just kind of Homeless...' She said 'Understand!' Then we laught together.

Well,I come from China .But I can't find any sense of belonging there.The sick sociaty there just create another value system which is against mine---I grew up in a very open family naturelly,I only have the universal value.That's the reason why I can't find a position survive in my motherland.Just because I can't convince myself to sell my soul,to defect my fundamental.It's sad,but nothing I can change.We come to this planet,if we can't catch our dream,to do what we really want,there is no any difference from zombie.I'm longing for all kind of freedom which allow me could only follow my inner voice as a dreamer,27 years,I only live in my own world,full of adventure,all kind of surreal experience---the other's surreal is my reality.

I just believe,if you really want to do something,the whole world will help you.I try to burn all my passion,my glory and belief and No regrets,that's all.

A friend commentted on me as 'If somebody spend the whole life just focus on one thing,she must succeed.' I appriciated a lot that I have some friends who can really understand me.

 

 

Hangzhou is my hometown which is generally considered as the most beautiful city in China--yes,it is.Objectively,even I have been so many cities,every time when I was back,I was still moved by its beauty.There I met a group of alternative friends who share the same valaue.We grow up ,drink,smoke,create things,play guitar,dance,dream together...We share the courage to face the reality and go through the pain.It is still warmming me on the way of broken dream.I am from a kind of elite class family,the members in my family either scientists or professors,I was never expected to be an artist or vagrant,I am totally a rebel in my family--but I guess nobody could enjoy the life of a homeless vagrant ,a new hippie and still so happy,I have nothing,but I gain so much freedom everyday ,breath the freedom in the air ,I feel It open my mind,my eyes,my heart,and I am just open to the whole world,whatever comes in my life,everyday I am just expecting something unexpected.

 

 

The next month I gonna be 28 years old,Except a huge collection of good friends,a lovely family which is totally support my dream--I mean,Love from people who love me,Except my proud talent,except my gorgeous stories and experience,I have nothing. But what I expect more ? Those experience made the density of my life so thick, those stories made me full of wounds --both physical and mind--they're evidence of being alive.I feel my soul is already old and my mind is forever young.

 

 

My gap year was a long trip to Tibet and part of silk road.I did hitch hiking for weeks arrived Lasha and did all the crazy adventure.I used to promise that I would return back to the regular life after that,but from then on,my heart became totally wild.Tibet,or those memories,They marked in my heart,never fade out.

I have lived in Shanghai for half an year,I just hate this city,full of speed and desires,as a huge cage which makes people lose their nature of human being.I am like a wild kid,only have a dream about into the wild.I could never,never belong to the super city.

After traveling around most part of China,on a trip to inner mongolia,I read some information about Marco Polo Project from newspaper,I just made the fast decision--escape from China,go to Italy.

 

Actually I feel it always like--the city choose me but not i choose the city,as the destiny.At beggining I was so naive and didn't realize that life could be so tough when you're abroad alone.I thought I was independent enough,but,still,I took the lesson of 'being strong'.I lost my real name,lost my hometown,lost in translation and lost in identification...I am totally get lost,but on the way finding my real self.

 

Well.In Italo Calvino's book ' the city invisible' He named each city as a girl's name,value them with feminine personality.I would like to follow this tradition,talking about the relastionship about my own cities.

 

Perugia is the city as my first love. The first European city where I lived.I spend the happiest period in this medieval city,we were partying,dancing,drinking ,singing all the time,the biggest problem of life was 'what should we eat for dinner?'.No worries,No fear,No pain...I met such lovely friends there,even we are apart everywhere right now,we are still as a family and warm though my tough life.

 

Bologna is the the city as the longest relationship,I don't like this city,but I love it.There is always such a girl everyone experienced in your life.You grow up with her from a boy into a real man,in this long relationship,you discovered so many disadvantages about her,conflict,flighting,strugglling,finally you decide to leave her,because you're so sure that you don't belong to her.Bologna as a city is just so boring and makes me suffocated all the time.But it is totally not a city in geography dimention,The one I deeply love is the city is composed of the people I met,someone,something makes me cry,laugh.We shared smile,hugs,feeling,ideas,pain and definitely,love.Party,Exam,presentation,after exam party,alcohol,concerts,exhibition and so many crazy projects...we were lying on the ground,holding a beer,watching the sky,talking,drinking,smoking,dreaming,laughing,crying.Seem like tomorrow never come.But it is such a floating city,people come and people leave,when they are gone,the city itself just mean nothing and even the same views,the same architecture,but it is not your bologna at all,you can always get a train go back to the city but you can't get back to your bologna anymore.

 

Vienna is the city as the girl who I consider to marry with.I don't know why,During those 3 years,there are so many connection happened between me and vienna.I just follow the the hints of destiny,then I am here.It is not the prefect one I met,it seems too elegant for me,but every city has different sides.Vienna as the famous city of classical culture in toursit level is not my cup of tea,but you can always discover another underground city---here is full of interesting people hiden in some corners,alternative arts,governamet and people respect arts,you can find serendipity anywhere.I met so many amazing people here,some of them just open a door for me,so many energy go though my life,and everything towards to the right direction.I learn so much about myself during this half year,becoming the one I really want to be.Here I start to realize the direction about my art work clearly--as a healer,try to transmit the positive message though my work,about sharism and universal love,something sincere and simple but warm,agaianst the emotional pollution and cure the loneliness and ease the pain of human being,healing the solitude and fear.

I find myself in vienna and meet several people feel as family.Vienna is so quiet,peaceful and calm me down

,concentrate to perceive the inner peace.

 

Berlin is the city as my soulmate,love from the first sight.The energy or the aura totally fits me.It is the paradise of dreamers,the neverland of artists,the eutopia of adventurers,It tolerates my stupid childish and innocence and crazy ideas and its historic pain exhibites the path of finding of the answers to my doubts.it is so open mind and I can even breath the freedom in the air.The story of this city is all about sharing,strangers showing their openess and sincere. It offers enough  liberty to all kinds of possibility and sensibility.All the message I perceive here is about 'being yourself,who cares'.Every day in berlin,the smile was hanging on my face automatically,I don't know the reason,but absolutely,it was from my heart.I can't find any city like berlin which can cover my dream and touch my soul .But maybe because of that,It makes me a little bit afriad to entre this city.The reality always sucks,maybe the best choice is keeping it as my enternal soulmate.

 

Prague is the city as the girl who can be called ' sweetheart lover in dream'.I have been in prague 6 times.Once upon a time (LOL),I have made an appointment with someone that we would go to prague together.Finally I come there myself.All the promises are gone with the wind.As a dream of my teenage,Prague,I only pray that my behavir didn't destory my impression of that city.I have thought about a begginning of a story: A traveler plans to find an impressive face in crowd at the last night ,tomorrow he will leave,he wishes an impressive face will mark his memory about this city that it would create a kind of connection with this city,Because of this face,the city will be never only the city on the map,but becomes his own city with personal memory. I haven't figure out what's going on about this story,but the fact is,I was sucessful to find such a face in Prague.I guess everyone appears in your life is arranged by destiny,when they finish their task,they will disappear or you will forget each other in the ashes of time.Someone meant to open a door,someone's task is to close a door. Then another one close the door which has opened before,I am deliverd from the past and Prague is released again. 

 

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